She Should Be
Jan 10, 2003
She Should Be.
She should be driving in my car much too late
leaving me home in fear, imagining disaster.
She should be bringing home a string of gangly boys
leading me to worry that she’ll never settle down,
Or far too serious with just one boy
with me warning that she’ll tie herself down too young.
She should be hot with anger at our treatment of refugees
Vehemently arguing against war with Iraq
Defiantly dancing in the face of terrorism
Moved by love to serve the homeless and poor.
She should be wearing her skirts so low and short
and her tops so brief and tight
that I argue and chide, while my eyes adore her.
She should be excitedly confused about her future:
Study, work, travel overseas?
She should be in her messy room with her girlfriends
pouring over handbooks, planning her year.
She should not be reduced to a box of ashes by fire
whose intense heat is no match
for the intensity of pain in my heart.
She should not be memorialized in a garden,
remembered by flowers and candles and
words on a plaque.
She should be here.
for Vivian, 30th July 1984 - 8th June 2000