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My Only Son, John
Nov 15, 2002

Hello. My name is Sandy and my husband and I lost our 17 year old son (our only son) in a car accident December 28, 2001. It has been 10 months since the tragic accident happened and I still can't believe that my baby isn't coming home anymore. The pain is unbearable at times and I feel like screaming. I would like to tell you a little about my son. His name is John. He was a beautiful baby boy and toddler and grew into a handsome young man. He liked to play basketball (his favorite player was Michael Jordan). He liked to swim, 4-wheel, box, play video game, listen to Christian CD and again play basketball. He was a Christian young man who was very dedicated to God and had very high standards. He not only talked about his faith but also walked his talk. He was admired and respected by his peers and had a great sense of humor. He worked at an Assisted Living Home for the elderly. He enjoyed his work there so much because he felt like he was making a difference in peoples lives, and he was. The residents there viewed them as their boy, and loved when he stopped by their rooms for chats. They were devestated when they learned of his death and said it was like a member of their family had died. He had. On December 28th he was coming home from work about 2:30 in the afternoon when a car came into his lane and hit him almost head on. The detective investigating the accident said John's wheels were over in his emergency lane and he was trying to get away from the car when he was hit. The 22 year old driver of the other car and two other teen passengers had just came from a fast food restaurant and were eating in the car when the accident occurred. They were not injured. They were asked to take a polygraph test, but they refused. My son was killed instantly with blunt force to his abdomen and head injuries. He had to be cut from the car, and life as we know it will and can never be the same again, because a part of us is missing. It's like your missing your arm or your leg or something. You go on without the vital part but you never forget that it was once there, you just learn to compensate. You exist but do you really live? You go through the motions because its expected of you. My husband and I cherished our family, our two daughters and our son. We took them to church and participated in school functions and activities that were of interest to them. I am so angry now. I am angry with God for allowing this to happen. It's very confusing, because I love God and at the same time I'm so very angry. I've always been taught and have taught my children, "God loves you". However, I find myself now saying how can God love me and take away something that meant so much to me, my only son. Something that is irreplaceable. Take my home, my job, my belongings, take anything but my children, my husband, or family. Material possessions, as valuable as some of them may be, are replaceable but not human life. So I question "Why"? A young man that had so much potential and was willing to be used of God, why did this have to happen and what purpose does it serve. The Bible tells us that "All thing work together for good to them that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose", where is the good in this? I don't understand. My husband is an only son and John was our only son, so a whole generation has now ended. Another thing that is so troubling is that so far no one has been charged in his death. The detective told my husband and I that our son is dead due to negliegence, however it's been 10 1/2 months and so far no one has been charged with anything. Thats a hard thing to swallow. Sorry I have taken up your time with my rantings and ravings, I just needed to ventilate and who can understand me more than anyone else? Someone who has walked in my shoes and knows that this is something that you will never get over. I know people say that it will get easier with time, however, I feel it is harder now than when it first happened. The reality sets in and the finality sets in. It's 3:00 he's not coming home from school. It's 8:00 he's not coming home from work. He's not coming home at all.
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