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My William
Dec 13, 2002

Well I am really not good at things like this, But I am hoping this will make me feel better before I lose it. My name is Jennifer Hernandez. I am 27 years old and live in Vallejo California. I lost my son William on March 08, 2002. He was only 3 months and 18 days old. I do have 3 other children Eric 10, Clayton 5, Cheyenne 4, who stay with family and have for the past two years. Thats why I am so, I can't even find the words to express the hurt and pain I feel about Williams death. It had been just me and William from day one. Since he had a diffrent father who was not in our life, He was my baby, He had no one else but me to care for him. I was so diffrent with him then my other kids. He was my sunshine, Just waking up to him every morning and seeing his smile made my day. Just having him in my life made me happy. I will never understand why? I tell myself everyday he is in a much better place. After William was born I had my tubes tied. I know that having another baby won't give me him back. I wished I hadn't gotten my tubes tied so that I could have another baby. In a way I look at Williams Death as a wake up call, That probly sounds sick, But I have really needed to get my life straight. How am I supose to go on and move forward when I feel like I just want stay in bed with the blankets over my head. I don't go anywhere and I don't want to be around anyone. Even going to the cemetary to visit his grave is a task for me anymore, When I used to look forward to going. I know someone feels the same way I do. I am just rambling on on. I guess I just need some support from others who know and feel my pain. Help?
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