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Eternal Playmates
May 16, 2002

I really dont know where to begin. I guess we could go back a few years. When I was in high school I fell away from the Lord and did things all too many teenagers do.(but shouldnt! wouldnt my mom laugh if she saw me say that now?) I got pregnant at 18 and despite all my parents were there for me. I decided to stay with him. I wanted our "family" to work out. I had my daughter and we were married. He started drinking. He kept using drugs. I know he had other women but I couldnt proove it. All I had was my daughter. And my parents who were still there for me despite everything! (including all the domestic violence calls and the bruises I said were from "falling"). I then got pregnant with my son to fill that void my husband had left by never being home. Right before I had my son I was told "If he isnt named after me he isnt mine" which he was since I wasnt the one running around. Although I didnt want to I named him after his "father". By the time my son was 18months old and my daughter 4 I couldnt take it anymore. The drunkenness. The running around. The beatings. His addiction to pornography. Everything.
I kicked him out. "You cant survive without me" he said. "I'll find a way" I told him. I got a job. My mother helped take care of the kids. I payed for the divorce. For the first time in 5yrs I was at peace. I recommited my life to the Lord. I put my daughter in a Christian shcool and watched her bloom from a scared little child to and out spoken happy little girl. There were court hearings for custody, child support and even a protection from abuse (PFA) but the Lord gave me strenght I never knew I had. If I hadnt left I would of raised my son to beat women. If I hadnt left I would of taught my daughter that it was "OK" for men to treat you like last weeks garbage. I watched my children bloom in such a way over the next year I could never imagined.
I met Marten last spring and I knew. He was different. He loved the Lord. He loved me. He loved my kids. For the first time in years I was treated with respect from a man. Part of me didnt know how to handle it. But I knew what I had in him and didnt take any of it for granted. We were married by the end of the summer. He has treated my children just like they were his. They call him daddy. (biological one doesnt pay support nor makes any contact) Things have been absolutely wonderful for the last year of our lives. The kids couldnt be happier as well.
Marten has no biological children although when we come back to the states in July (we're in Germany right now due to the U.S. Army) we are going to court to have my ex's rights terminated (we have more than enough grounds) and so my dh can adopt them. Right before Christmas of last yr. I found out that I was pregnant. We were so excited! I lost the baby due to a blighted ovum in Jan and were then devistated. It was one of the few times my dh really cried. I had a d&c 3 days later. I waited a cycle like the dr. said and was pregnant again in March. I found out on 4/2 of this yr. Lost the baby a week later. They say this time the baby just didnt implant itself right into my uterus.
I did a lot of praying in the last couple of months. I said "God, reveil to me the sex of my children so I can properly name them". I needed this. God knew I needed this. I believe I had a girl in Jan. I named her Binta for it means "with God oh blessed daughter" for that is where she is. I named my son Samuel after the verse I use in my signature.
"I asked the Lord to give me this child, and he has given me my request. Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life." I Sam.1:27-28
My daughter was blessed with having her brother as her eternal playmate.
Being overseas I have no family here. I havent even really made any friends here. My mother and I talk regularly and she is my best friend. I am looking forward to getting back to the states this summer since dh is being medically retired. God was really looking out for our family when he put him in our lives.
We are going to keep trying for this precious baby we want so badly. (we are however not agreeing with the girl name.....the boy of course is Jr.)hehe....

In Christ,
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