Heaven Welcomed My Babies
Apr 05, 2002
My name is Rose. I am 24 years old and have been married for 2 1/2 years. I
am a 5th grade teacher at a wonderful school near where we live.
My husband and I decided in October 2000 to go off the BCP. We were not
planning on conceiving, but we had been thinking about starting a family
within the next year. I became PG in November with our son, Joseph Andrew.
I was incredibly sick throughout my first weeks of PG. We didn't even know
I was PG until the middle of January, but by that time, I was 9 weeks
along. My baby had little feet and hands with fingers and toes. Well, I was
in my last semester of school and had started student teaching. Within a
week of my student teaching, at 11 weeks, I miscarried Joey. I was
devastated and still am. I was given a week to recuperate (actually, told
to take as much time as I needed) and then went back to student teaching.
Joey never developed from an embryo. The doctors say there was nothing I
could do and he would have never survived otherwise. I am still coping with
the loss of my baby. August 29 would have been the due date. That date is
my DH's birthday. Coping on that day was very difficult, but I made it
through. We found out in Sept. that his sister is PG and the baby is due in
May. It was a little hard, although we knew that the timing was not right
for us to conceive. We have no problem conceiving (no infertility) we're
just new at this. We want a baby, but in God's time, not ours.
We learned Saturday, February 9, 2002 through a HPT that I am pregnant. That was
exactly one year from the date I m/c Joey. Our first appointment was March
6th. The appointment couldn't have gone any better than it did. Dr. F is a
wonderful doctor. We were really going to enjoy working with him the next 6
months. The appointment went smoothly. We had a question and answer session
with the doctor, and he confirmed the pregnancy. I had to drink some
orange-like soda so they could do a sugar test? Something to do with
diabetes, since they run in the family.. I'm still learning everything,
remember this is very new to me. After the drink, Dr. F said we were going
to have an ultrasound to help ease our minds. He didn't want us to just
listen for a heartbeat; he wanted us to see the baby. And what a joy that
was. Our baby was right on schedule. I was 8 weeks and one day along, the
baby measured 8 weeks and 0 days yesterday (exactly where I was). We saw
his/her eyes and heartbeat. It was amazing. Just the thing we needed to
wipe away any nervousness we had (and the Grandma's, too). What a miracle
God was working in our lives. I just think of Psalm 139 whenever I look at
the picture. DH was so proud that he scanned it and took a copy to work.
Pokey's picture has been replaced with our baby! :) The baby was due
October 14, 2002.
On Wednesday, March 20, 2002, DH and I went into the doctor's office
because I was having an ever so slight brown discharge. The
doctor scheduled an ultrasound and tried to reassure me that everything
with the baby was fine. I kept telling myself, everything is fine,
everything is fine. We got to the doctor's office and immediately had the
ultrasound. In my womb there was a beautiful baby. We could see everything,
eyes, hands, feet, the baby was even sucking his/her thumb. The picture was
perfect, except for one important detail: there was no heartbeat.
Apparently Baby Mc passed away sometime earlier in the week or over the
weekend because he/she was not measuring exactly 10 weeks. Later that day,
I was scheduled for a D&C at Round Rock Hospital. The surgery went well,
and I am home now. DH and I are planning on staying home for the remainder
of the week. I ask that you please keep DH and me in your prayers. We are
handing the news as best we can, given the circumstances. We do have a
picture of Baby Mc. It helps when comforting me, knowing how perfect my
little one is. I know that he/she is safe in the arms of Jesus.
Wednesday evening, while DH was sleeping, and I was still awake, I had a
vision from the Lord. At first I was not aware of what was happening. I
was staring at the ceiling in our bedroom when a face appeared. The face
was talking to me, although I could not make out what He was saying. I
knew immediately that this person was Jesus. As I continued to watch the
scene, it went from Jesus alone, to Jesus holding our precious baby in His
arms. There were people around, friends and family that I did not
recognize, but I know were there to receive Baby Mc into their
family. Jesus placed our baby into the arms of our family members in
heaven. That peace will help DH and me to move on.
To help with the grieving process, DH and I have decided to name our baby.
In our hearts we feel that Baby Mc is a precious little boy. The Lord has
given us the courage to take a step forward. I would like you all to please
pray for us and the loss of Paul Ernest McIntyre (3-20-02). We love Paul
very much. He still is our precious baby, and he is up in heaven with many
family and friends.
Thank you for listening to my story, your book has been a real comfort to me.
Mommy to Joseph Andrew (m/c 2-9-2001)
Mommy to Paul Ernest (missed m/c 3-20-2002