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All I Want Is A Baby!
Aug 23, 2002


I had a miscarriage 10 days ago. (D&C had to be performed) I have and probably will still experience all the different stages of grief ie anger and depression. I was/am so angry because I waited ten weeks before I even told anyone (including my partner)because I know m/c are somewhat common. If it was up to me we would have waited longer, but he wanted to broadcast it to the world. It was easy because I didn't have much morning sickness. Actually, I think that I am in denial. I still wear a bra to bed at night. Something I did for extra support when my breasts were tender. I got pregnant the first week of June'02 with out actually "trying". I was so happy because I didn't want to become anal taking my temperature and tracking ovulation. I had an abortion 2years ago. That no one knows about!!! I can't help feeling that this m/c is nature way of getting me back for my previous acts. You know what goes around comes around. I am an only child. My parents were very excited. I will be 32 in two days 08/25/02. You know one of those classic career woman...putting the family off until the career gets established. Now I am so anxious. I want to try to get pregnant right away because if something is wrong with me I want to know. They won't do any tests until you have had like three m/cs in a row. Is my uterus weakened from the procedures? Are my eggs too old? I know I should wait at least one cycle before trying again. I am going crazy!!! Figuratively that is.
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