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I Want My Baby Remembered
Jan 16, 2003

My story starts a few months ago when we decided to try to conceive our first child. I read up a lot on preconception and made some changes to ensure I was as healthy as I could be (including giving up coffee and all medications). After about 6 months of trying I was hopeful that we had been successful. On the 23rd December I took my second home pregnancy test and was delighted to see those 2 read lines. I immediately showed my husband and we agreed that it was the best Christmas present ever. We decided not to tell anyone else until we'd confirmed it with the doctor and made sure I was okay. It was like a beautiful secret just between the two of us!

Then just 2 days after getting my doctors confirmation that we were in fact 8 weeks pregnant, on the 9th January everything went wrong. I had dark spotting that quickly turned into clots and bright red blood and after a visit to the ER I spent a horrible night of cramping and visits to the toilet. The following morning I received the worst news when the ultrasound technician admitted that she could find nothing - I was empty inside.

How horrible that my much wanted baby was gone and we had never gotten to see it or hear it's heart beating. I don't want to ever forget that that little baby existed and so I post my story here. We loved you and we wanted you so so much and we won't forget that you were here, even though it was for such a brief time.
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