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I Will Never Give Up
Jan 06, 2003

My husband and I tried to get pregnant for almost two years. On our second wedding anniversary in March of 2002, I found out that we were expecting. We were so excited we told everyone we knew that night!! Unfortuneatly at my very first appointment, I found out that I was going to miscarry, within a few weeks. I miscarried in April the day before my birthday. I was so heartbroken as I had been trying so hard to conceive and when I finally did it was like it was just ripped away from me. We decided to start trying again as soon as our Doctor would allow, but due to the fact that I had to have my cervix frozen for pre-cancerous cells when I was younger, we had trouble getting pregnant until my Doctor dilated my cervix for us. We got pregnant again the very next week in December of 2002. I found out that we were expecting again on Christmas Day. On New Years Eve, I started spotting a brownish discharge and later that evening I began cramping so I had my husband take me to the emergency room. We spent 7 hours in the emergency room having blood work and ultrasounds done. They told me that there was nothing wrong and that everything was absolutely normal to go home, rest and to refrain from any strenuous activities. Today is January 6th, and in just a few hours I am going to have my Rhogam shot because I have had my second miscarriage. I am devastated. I don't know what to feel or think. I was so sure that this pregnancy would work out and that God wouldn't make me suffer through this pain and heartbreak once again. I suppose that he has a plan, and that this wouldn't be happening for no reason at all. I can only hope and pray that my next baby will be mine to keep on earth with me. Until then I will just keep trying, I will never give up.
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