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A Stolen Promise
Dec 23, 2002

I don't know where to really start. But I guess I will start from the time I knew i was pregnant. I found out I was pregnant on December 10th of this year. It was quite a shock to me and my husband. We already have a 19 month old son and weren't trying to concieve yet. Even though it wasn't planned we were so filled with joy and excitment and just beside ourselves. We stayed up late talking about names if it was a boy or girl or what we were going to do. All the things that expecting parents do. I went to the doctor the following day and found that I was about 6 weeks along. We were so thriled. We told both our families and they were so happy for us and we were going to make our family bigger. Everything was going fine until the night of the 19th just a week and a half later when I noticed that I was feeling a little bit of cramping. It didn't worry me to much i thought maybe I had pushed myself to hard that day. I woke up the morning of the 20th and was in tremendous pain. I couldn't moved. It felt like stabbing pain in between the periods of contractions. I knew what was happening. I finally called the doctor and she told me to come in. In the car on the way to the doctors I felt something gush and saw that I was completely soaked in blood. We got to the doctor and I had passed some blood clots and what was presumably the baby. I felt so cheated and empty. Like i was promised this beautiful and precious child and it was just ripped right from me. I went into a deep depression and that is where I am now. i just had the miscarriage 3 days ago. My husband has been a god send. I don't think I could make it through this without him holding my hand. I hole on to my son a lot more and tell him how much he really means to me. I guess I have heard about miscarriages but I thought it would never happen to me. I guess it brought me back to reality that things can happen to anyone. I just hope that my little angel will always know that mommy loves him/her and that I will never forget the short time that he/she was here. To my precious angel mommy loves you so much and I can't wait for the day to see you face to face and hold you in heaven.
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