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An Empty Feeling
Dec 06, 2002
My husband and I were married on July 20, 2002. We wanted nothing more than to have a house full of children. We were pregnant within the next 3 weeks. We were so excited. Life was perfect. Newlyweds, a new home, and now a child. I read everything I got my hands on and worried all the time that I was doing everything right. At 12 weeks I began to have cramps. For two days I went convinced it was normal and I was fine. On the third day the cramps became servere and bleeding accompanied them. My husband rushed me to the emergnency room only to confirm that we had lost our child to miscarriage 4 weeks ago. He burst into tears but I was too drugged to know what was going on. The following day I had a D&C. We came home empty handed. No baby just pills and heartache. I thought to myself, "How could I have not known that my child was dead inside of me?" I began to feel like we should not grieve too long because it was such a common thing and it happened so early. We thought I was pregnant for 12 weeks. We planned and we dreamed and now we have nothing. My husband seems to be Ok with it now. We try not to talk to the people who do not know we lost the child to keep from having to tell anyone else. Those who do know have given us a lot of comfort. However my heart seems to break more and more everyday. We still have to wait another 2 months to try again but in the meantime pray for me, as I do for you. I would like to thank you for reading my story and know that with time and my husbands help, I am slowly getting better. I hope you get as much from my story as I have from others. God Bless.
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