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God Will Get Me Through
Nov 08, 2002

Hi, by now it should be easy for me to discuss this and to deal with it. After 6 pregnancies and only having 2 children living, it feels like I get stronger with each one but really I have to cry my eyes out when I am alone to get through it. My 1st miscarriage was in 95, at 12 weeks and I hemorraged badly and was in hospital for 1 week, then in 96 delivered my son Elijah, then in 2000 finally pregnant again but worst of all, delivered my little girl Gabrielle at 19 weeks without a heartbeat, and had to bury her and still write in a journal to her. In 2001 miscarried again at 10 weeks but was used to it and didn't grieve much,I even took the bus to the hospital alone, but in Dec.2001 delivered a very healthy 9lb,1oz baby boy, Ethan. Now he is 10 mths old and I should be about 9 weeks pregnant but doctor has just told me baby is about size of 5 weeks and I may be miscarrying, so going through tests and won't find out for a week which is very hard and already have that feeling of "oh well its happened again, should I just give up?"They did run tests on me before I had Ethan and found an antibody in my blood, called Lupas Anticoagulant, which will destroy the placenta so a fetus cannot live, but after that I have been on 81mg of baby aspirin every day and obviously it didn't work this time or I just have bad luck. I wish I could believe this is not happening this time but its hard and I do know believing in God will get me through it as he always has.
-Arie Waymen-
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