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Part of Me is Gone
Nov 07, 2002

Four weeks ago I miscarried twins at 10 weeks. I had been trying for eight months and was overjoyed. It seemed like forever until my doctor's appointment. My husband and I were so excited . We were stunned to be expecting twins. The minute I saw their hearbeats I felt attached. I asked the doctor if they were in the same sac or seperate ones. He had a concerned look in his face and said there were in the same sac but he didn't see a defining membrane . I asked him what that meant and he said without a defining membrane one twin could eventually strangle the other. I started to panic and he reassured me that sometimes it's just to early and they don't see it and that I shouldn't get crazy. He schelduled another sonogram for two weeks. I never made it. Although I had no signs of a miscarriage until ten weeks my doctor told me it actually occured very soon after the sonogram. There had been no growth since the eigth week.

It's been four weeks and it hasn't gotten any easier. Everyone has gotten tired of hearing me and no one knows what to say. My sister is pregnant with her second and is due March 9, 2003. My due date was May 9, 2003. I am finding it very hard to except and even harder to realize how everyone just goes on. I feel a part of me is gone. My husband wants me to be the person I was. I am not sure she will come back. We just closed on our house but it's not the same . There is no nursery to get ready. I don't know how I will try again and survive a pregnancy.

Twin A&B were only with us for a short time but will never be forgotten . We love them very much and are thankful they are together.
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