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Everything Happens For A Reason
Mar 10, 2002

I'm glad there is a place like this for people like me. As we all know, every story and situation is different. I've sufferend two miscarriages very early on in the pregnancy. My last one was last October, 2001. My husband and I had been trying for almost two years to become pregnant when that happened. Now, we play the waiting, wanting, hoping and praying game again. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I believe in God and have accepted Jesus into my heart (a long time ago) and I know there was a reason for these losses. I am not angry at God or anything, just sad that it wasn't meant to be. Everybody handles things differently. I think the worst thing for me right now, is my mothers way of acting. I didn't tell her due to the extremely hard nature of it, until January. She and I have not spoken since! This is something I don't need. I need her and her support, not her ignorning me and judging me. It just wasn't easy to talk about and she is NOT the easiest person to talk to.

My husband and I have now been trying for 27 months to have baby and carry it full term. I don't know if it will happen or not, I'm 35 and time is not on our side. We do not want to see Dr. and undergo things where people are playing God. That is just our opinion and not an option for us. But we highly understand and respect those who will do anything to have a baby. It's also hard because it seems like everywhere you go, there are pregnant women everywhere. The tears well up and the jealousy happens uncontrollably, but on the other hand, your really happy for them. My 18 year old sister in law and her husband (my brother) who is 19 are expecting their first baby any day now. For being so young, they are incredibly responsible people and I can't tell you how well taken care of this baby will be and how loved. I cannot wait for him to make his entrance into this world. I am also excited, because they have asked me to be present at the birth of their son. That's something I wouldn't say "No" to for anything. I am so thrilled for them.

My first baby I lost at a real young age for unknown reasons. It's tough and it stinks, but what can you do? God works in mysterious ways and does thing that we don't always get to know "why" He did them. It does get easier, but you never forget those child or that child that you have lost. I greive with you all who are here reading and writing and I know God does care and love you no matter what. God bless you all.

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