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Vanished Dreams
Jan 13, 2003
June 20th, 2002. I day that I will never forget. At 36 weeks into my pregnancy I headed to my regularily scheduled appointment. I always had morning appointments so that I could get to work soon afterwards. This morning, the office was right on time, the nurse called me in as usual. I did all the normal things, pee in a cup, get weighed in. Then it was time to find the heartbeat, what is supposed to be the best part of each visit. Not this time. This time the nurse couldn't find the heartbeat. "Well, maybe the baby is just turned funny," she said. "I'll go get the Dr. and we'll be right back." The Dr. came in and the baby was not "turned funny" at all, There was nothing funny about this. They quickly rushed me to the ultrasound room and right there, on the screen it was confirmed. There was no heartbeat.
Since my Dr. office was located right inside the hospital I was then wisked away to the maternity ward. There I was monitored and told because of my high blood pressure I would not be allowed to go home. Home? I thought. Why would I want to go home now anyway. My husband was out of town so the thought of trying to locate him and tell him to rush home was unbareable. This was the first and only time he had ever left me in seven years. What were the chances that I would have to call him home becuase our precious baby had died.
My husband arrived home as quickly as possible and was with me while I delivered and beautiful baby girl named Taeya. (We had waited for a suprise about the sex of the baby and we both had really thought we were going to have a boy.) We were so shocked that we had had a girl and yet our hearts were so broken.
It has now been about six months since this tragic day. Healing has been slow but some days are getting a little easier. I never in my wildest dream thought the excitment of being pregnant and starting our family could vanish so quickly.
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