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My Little Emma Louise
Jan 01, 2003

Having a baby is suppose to be the happiest time of a womans life, I have 2 children from a previous relationship and after 7 yrs of been in and out of the wrong relationships, I met a man that loved us all, I was looking forward to having another baby it has been something that I have always wanted. Finding out I was pregeant was like a dream come true and it happened all so fast, when I was trying to fall pregeant before it took me 15 months to fall with my son, it didnt take all that long to fall pregeant this time, my partner and I were so happy. Things were going so well, I was abit more sick than I was with my last pregeancy and I didnt mind I put it down to been alittle older. I was what I thought was 21 weeks into my pregancey and still had no ultra sound and was still seeing my GP rather then the specailist due to the fact that they are so busy, everyone is having babies. It was 23rd Decemeber 2002 and I went for an ultra sound, I knew something was wrong before I went as I had had some spotting but it has stopped.I was hoping that I was wrong but when the ultra sound showed that the baby's heart has stopped I was in total shock as well as my parnter. I went and seen my Dr as soon as the ultra sound was done and he had to contact the specailist and see what to do next, on the 24th December I was admitted to hospital to be induced it was 8.30am when they started but nothing really happened till 7.30pm that nite and at 10.10 on the 24/12/02 my little daughter Emma Louise was born,I had to go into theatre to make sure everything was out and clean on Christmas day, I know that we will never see Christmas the same again. As I sit here writting this I wonder how people move on, I Know I will with the strength of my family espeically my sister and my partner, I fell into a deep hole of depression after coming home from hospital and all I had to show for our baby is her blanket, beanie, tag, and some photos, which I know is more than some people have to show for thier loss, my partner is helping me to heal and shows me all the love and patience I need, when I really sat down and thought about it, I was lucky I have 2 other healthy live children and my partner has lost he ownly little girl, some one that was his blood, I know he loves and cares about my children but it isnt the same as having your own.
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