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Erica Elizabeth Harper
Dec 04, 2002
I WAS SO EXCITED WEHN I FOUND OUT THAT I WAS PREGNATE WITH MY FIRST CHILD. MY LIFE WAS FINALLY STARTING TO COME TOGETHER. I HAD BEEN THROUGH 2 YEARS OF UPS AND DOWNS.MY FATHER PASSED A WAY MY 8 YEAR RELATIONSHIP WAS OVER I WAS DEPENDING ON ALCOHOL AND DRUGS.THEN ONE DAY I MET UP WITH MY HIGHSCHOOL SWEET HEART MY FIRST LOVE. WE STARTED DATING THEN I GOT PREGNATE. WOW I WAS SO HAPPY. IT WASN'T A VERY GOOD PREGNANCY FROM THE START BUT I NEVER THOUGHT WHAT HAPPEND TO ME WOULD HAPPEN TO ME. I WAS 5 MONTHS ALONG WHEN MY WATER BROKE. I HELD ON OR SHOULD I SAY ERICA HELD ON FOR 2 WEEKS.THEN THANKSGIVING DAY I DELIVERED MY BABY GIRL.SHE WAS SO TINY BUT SO BEAUTIFUL. I NAMED HER AFER MY FATHER. ERICA ELIZABETH HARPER WAS HER NAME. I HELD HER FOR 5 MINUTES THEN THEY RUSHED MY TO THE OPERATING ROOM.WHILE I WAS HOLDING HER SHE WRAPPED HER TINY HAND AROUND MY FINGER THAT WAS THE LAST I SAW HER. WHILE I WAS IN SURGURY SHE PASSED AWAY IN THE ARMS OF HER FATHER. I AHVE PICTURES OF HER, HER ASHES.HER BLANKET AND RING THEY GAVE ME. I MOSTLY LEAVE THEM IN MY SPECIAL BOX FOR HER. I FEEL SO ALONE I MISS HER SO BADLY NOONE EVER TALKES ABOUT HER WITH ME. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HER FATHER UNDERSTANDS WHATS IT LIKE BECAUSE HER DOESN'T EVEN SAY HER NAME.I COULDN'T GO BACK TO WORK AFTER BECAUSE I WORKED AT THE HOSPITAL.SO NOW I STAY AT HOME ALL WEEK BY MYSELF WHILE HE WORKS OUT OF STATE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO SOMETIMES I MISS HER SO MUCH. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK ABOUT HER TO ANYONE. SHE WILL ALWAYS BE MY DAUGHTER HIW CANI GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THAT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT ERICA? I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS OVER WHEN SHE DIED AND I AM BEGINNING TO THINK THAT I DON'T WANT TO GO ON WITH OUT HER ANYMORE.THE DOCTORS THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER BEABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN SO WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS IT WAS LIKE A MIRICLE. IT'S BEEN A YEAR NOW AND WE HAVE BEEN TRYING BUT NO LUCK. SO NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH WHAT IF I CAN'T HAVE ANY? IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS I WOULD VERY HAPPY TO TALK TO SOMEONE. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.
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