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I Have Lost Twice
Jan 04, 2003

I am a 23 year old mother of a 4 year old. I found out just after Thanksgiving that I was pregnant with the child of my future husband. We were both extremely excited as was my daughter. I went to the doctor and he confirmed my pregnancy and did the normal exam with a pap smear. I got a call from the doctor to come in because my pap smear came back abnormal. I set an appointment for a few days later. In the mean time, I started cramping and bleeding. I felt the inevitable was happening. I had had a miscarriage before and that is what it had felt like. So I went in and the doctor only did a urine pregnancy test and said it was negative so it was a miscarriage. The doctor did a biopsy of my cervix because of the four spots that may well be cancer. I was told I was going to bleed and cramp for a few days. It turned into bleeding and cramping for a week. New Years Eve I celebrated. I had a few beers and thought that was why I was nauseous. I started to cramp so bad I shook violently. My fiance decided that I needed to go to the emergency room. At 11 hours into the new year another doctor told me that I was pregnant still and needed to go into emergency laproscopic surgery. I don't remember much after that. I was told that I had an ectopic pregnancy in my left tube. They didn't take my tube out, but I still feel like I have lost twice. It really hasn't hit me though. I still might have cancer and am scared to death. It is comforting knowing that God does things to make a person stronger. I will be as strong as Super Woman after all is said and done.
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