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"Baby Lane" Moved On To Be With God
May 02, 2002

hi, my name is kim and i just lost my unborn baby at 8wks pregnant. im having a very hard time with it. i feel so guilty and empty. although i was only 8wks along my baby was already wanted and very much loved. we tried for 6mths to get pregnant and then to lose it like this hurts so much. i feel like i gave up on my child or it feels like i had an abortion becouse i had to have a d and c. even though i know the baby was already gone, having that procedure done just feels so wrong. Everyone keeps saying maybe it was for the best or the time just wasnt right. they keep telling me to be thankful for the two children i do have, but they dont understand, that was me baby, not just a fetus. i dont know how to get over this, i feel myself not wanting to feel anything. all i do is cry. everyone says it will get better and it might but right now that dosent help. i dont know what to do. i gave my baby a name that would fit for a boy or a girl. i named my baby "Baby Lane". some think im stupid for giving it a name but to me it was a child, my child. i tried to find a name that had meaning and Lane means "to move on". My baby had to move on to be with God. I'm hoping that name will help me move on when the time is right because right now i cant move on. It hurts to much. I just wish i knew how to feel normal again and how to get over the pain and guilt i feel.
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